Friday, April 13, 2012

I'm Back!

So, the last few weeks, I taken the weeks off from blogging. I was kind of disappointed in myself – even though that's kind of crazy – considering how far I've come. After seeing such big numbers that .5 pound was like a slap in the face. Of course, I knew that it was coming. I ate well, but my sodium was through the roof. That's something that will put the weight on me faster than anything else I do.

I worked hard though. I worked hard not to let that .5 loss derail me. For a split second, I really thought about giving up. I thought if I can't do at least 1.5 every week, then what am I doing here? Then I realized that was a stupid position to take. It was selfish and a bit bratish. Then the next week, my loss was bigger, but still smaller than what I was used to. Same with the next week. I wondered what I was doing 'wrong'. I don't know why I thought I was doing something wrong, but I guess I got spoiled in these big weight losses I had been having.

I had to sit down and have a talk with myself.

I also talked to other people who are doing or have done this. The biggest thing I heard from everyone was maybe you need to increase your calories. That scared me. Big time! I was netting anywhere from 900-1100 a day and the general consensus was that I should try to get as close to 1200 net a day that I could. So that's what I tried to do this week. It was hard, making myself eat sometimes. At the end of the day, I'd look and see sometimes I had about a hundred calories to go & I'd go get something real quick. I was scared it would give me the license to pretty much eat for the sake of eating. Surprisingly, I didn't feel that way. I made good decisions on what to eat except for a Little Debbie snack I allowed myself for dessert.

Sometimes I have to keep remind myself that my journey is not over. I still have a long way to go – 90.2 more pounds. But let's put this into perspective.

Since January 1st, I have lost 35.3 pounds. My 'smaller' clothes are getting a bit bigger. My BMI has gone down 6.9 points. Most of all though? My confidence and self-esteem is through the roof and I'm happier. That is the biggest gift of all with this journey I'm on.

So this coming week, I'm gonna try not to be so impatient with myself. I am doing a great job. It'll happen. Not on my time line, but when it's supposed to. So here I go, ready to hit 40 pounds lost. With the support of everybody and my own determination, I'll be there in no time!

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