Saturday, May 26, 2012

Amusement Parks

Four years ago, I took my honeymoon at Disney.  It definitely wasn't the 'happiest place on earth' for me.  It was miserable.  I weighed about 30 more pounds and it hurt to walk, it hurt to stand, and I almost didn't fit into a few rides.  Since then I've been too worried, too embarrassed, to try to do anything like that anymore.

This week though, my friend, April, had free tickets to Holiday World and asked me if I wanted to go with her.  I at first said no because I was very self conscious and frankly scared.  People who don't have a weight problem don't understand.  When you go to a place like this, you worry.  There's a multitude of questions you ask yourself.

  • Am I going to be the fattest person at the park?
  • Am I going to embarrass myself by huffing and puffing up the hills?
  • Will I be able to fit in the rides?
  • If I can fit in the rides, will it be comfortable?
  • Am I going to look like a beached whale at the water park?
  • Will people point and laugh at me when I take my cover up off?
All of these things play in your mind and I don't know that anybody who's lived this life EVER gets over it or doesn't think about it.  We (me) let those thoughts keep us from doing the things that we want most in life.  Our thoughts are the most debilitating and crippling roadblocks in this journey besides self-control. 

I hadn't worn a bathing suit in 10 years and I hadn't been to an amusement park in the 4 years.  I hemmed and hawed about it for most of the week.  I didn't have a bathing suit and I was worried that I wouldn't fit in the rides.

My friends ending up making the decision for me. Out of the goodness of their hearts, they went and bought me a bathing suit and told me to go have fun (I seriously have absolutely the BEST friends in the world!).  I decided to do just that and I am SO glad that I did!

I fit in every ride, even had PLENTY of room after I tightened the seat belts on the roller coasters.  I wore my bathing suit in public and while I did feel a little self conscious about it, that went away  after a few minutes or so.  I walked up and down the hills with no problem and I had a great time!

Today, I do feel like I've been in a car accident, but I think that's because of the wooden coasters that we went on.  I wouldn't change anything at all about yesterday and I am so ready to keep losing weight. This truly is the best thing I've EVER done for myself!!

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