Addiction....

Addiction to Food?? Really??

This week I've done a lot of soul-searching about this journey I've been on. So far in the first 5 weeks of the year, I've lost almost 13 pounds. The ticker on the side rounds up. I've really lost 12.7 pounds. I've done a lot of wondering about how I let myself get this way. In the past I've had a lot of excuses. The way I grew up, the fact that I was born pre-mature – the list goes on and on.

But...this is the year without excuses. Right? I began to wonder...has my family history played into my weight – just a little bit? Not as an excuse, but as a reason to understand.

My family has a history of addiction, on both sides. My cousin and I talked about this once. We laughed and said we'd rather be addicted to food rather than what the rest of our family is addicted to. Alcohol, hard core drugs, prescription drugs. Now I'm not so sure. I've thought about it a lot. Is it really better to be addicted to food?

In my mind (in the past), I made myself feel better about the food addiction by again making excuses. I told myself that at least I wasn't hurting myself or my family. At least I wasn't spending all my money on drugs. At least I wasn't zoned out of my mind all the time. At least I wasn't so drunk that I couldn't function. Now I realize that I was wrong. Very wrong.

An addiction to food can hurt you. It can cause you die young of a heart attack. It can cause you to be in so much physical pain – because of being overweight – that it can make you take medicine to make yourself feel better. It can cause you so much mental pain that it can also make you take medication to make yourself feel better.

There is no GOOD addiction. They all affect you badly in some way. I'm through making excuses for mine. I'm breaking this addiction. One pound at a time. As I posted on my facebook. I am refusing to let other people's bad decisions, stupidity, and lack of regard for those around them affect me! Last year I would have reached for a pint of ice cream, today I went shopping for nail polish. I will not be derailed because others don't know when to grow up!

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This week, I am going to try something new. Like I did with the coffee a few weeks ago. I'm going to try to make some roasted vegetables in the oven like the anonymous commenter suggested last week. I've never been a huge vegetable eater, but I'm working on it! I'm working very hard on me and I'm starting to like who I am.